DEAR OGWONIBO EZE DIBIA,
I have a couple of answers i want from the gods but who better knows the mind of the gods than you? Great one, i have never heard you report that the gods are happy with anything we do as mortals. It is either they are silent or when they do speak, They are angry. Do the gods ever have fun? Are they ever in a good mood??
Great one, Am constantly amazed too that you always reside in the bush. Is it the need to stay near your working tools; herbs and spirits that live in the bush? Could it be because the mosquitoes and insects fear your wrath if they chew on your skin? I do not see why you have to because i bet you... the gods will sleep better in heat if they resided in air conditioned apartments too.
That brings me to something very important. Why, Oh Great one! Why do the gods eat only native chicken and not the agricultural improved broilers? Times have changed man! In case your not in observance, native cocks are harder to find now and we both know the gods let you do the eating. We ask you to plead with the gods........ Can we have the gods change their diet! Or would you just learn to eat Broilers too? I do not see why the gods would ask for an all white cock when they know our hens are racist.... They let only the colored folks mount.
No longer will you subject us to odious requests. No more requests to get the eye of an egg-carrying lizard, twin tortoises, crocodile tears. If the gods are indeed wise, have them know that we are not naturally born hunters. I can't even track a lizard on the wall, yet you have me on a biological mission for extinct creatures. Help us serve you better.
During the Presidential campaign in my country last year, the President aspirant, now current President, Promised us He would make the dollar equivalent to one Naira. That fool is Clueless..... and i voted him too...... Does that make me an accessory to foolishness? Well, you are the gods and as he has failed, please make the dollar equivalent to that. I keep watching him and am convinced he wont even give us a hard boiled egg at least.
If you can make the dollar dream true Great one, I will make sure i lead your campaigning team for the next presidential elections cause obviously...You will be the BOMB!!!!!!!!
Meanwhile, i would like to own a house in Lekki, maybe another in Victoria Island and in the U.S of A. Can you deliver on that for me? I have a neighbor who says you are not worth shit. Can you make him shorter than Kevin Hart cause he needs to learn not to insult the gods!
Like you asked, I have been good to people and take my vitamins regularly. I do my yoga and have learnt to speak Chinese too....albeit knowing the meaning of only two words (hakuna matata.... is that even Chinese?). I hope you are okay and please, Relocate the gods to developed areas. The rains have come. We fear the gods will evidently catch a cold..... or worse.....DIE!
I expect you are in good health....i sincerely hope you are. Wont it be shameful to have you be our doctor/healer and yet not be healthy. Put our faith in the gods ok! Be good and do not use your power for selfish means.
Yours Fetishly,
Parazy
Great one, Am constantly amazed too that you always reside in the bush. Is it the need to stay near your working tools; herbs and spirits that live in the bush? Could it be because the mosquitoes and insects fear your wrath if they chew on your skin? I do not see why you have to because i bet you... the gods will sleep better in heat if they resided in air conditioned apartments too.
That brings me to something very important. Why, Oh Great one! Why do the gods eat only native chicken and not the agricultural improved broilers? Times have changed man! In case your not in observance, native cocks are harder to find now and we both know the gods let you do the eating. We ask you to plead with the gods........ Can we have the gods change their diet! Or would you just learn to eat Broilers too? I do not see why the gods would ask for an all white cock when they know our hens are racist.... They let only the colored folks mount.
No longer will you subject us to odious requests. No more requests to get the eye of an egg-carrying lizard, twin tortoises, crocodile tears. If the gods are indeed wise, have them know that we are not naturally born hunters. I can't even track a lizard on the wall, yet you have me on a biological mission for extinct creatures. Help us serve you better.
During the Presidential campaign in my country last year, the President aspirant, now current President, Promised us He would make the dollar equivalent to one Naira. That fool is Clueless..... and i voted him too...... Does that make me an accessory to foolishness? Well, you are the gods and as he has failed, please make the dollar equivalent to that. I keep watching him and am convinced he wont even give us a hard boiled egg at least.
If you can make the dollar dream true Great one, I will make sure i lead your campaigning team for the next presidential elections cause obviously...You will be the BOMB!!!!!!!!
Meanwhile, i would like to own a house in Lekki, maybe another in Victoria Island and in the U.S of A. Can you deliver on that for me? I have a neighbor who says you are not worth shit. Can you make him shorter than Kevin Hart cause he needs to learn not to insult the gods!
Like you asked, I have been good to people and take my vitamins regularly. I do my yoga and have learnt to speak Chinese too....albeit knowing the meaning of only two words (hakuna matata.... is that even Chinese?). I hope you are okay and please, Relocate the gods to developed areas. The rains have come. We fear the gods will evidently catch a cold..... or worse.....DIE!
I expect you are in good health....i sincerely hope you are. Wont it be shameful to have you be our doctor/healer and yet not be healthy. Put our faith in the gods ok! Be good and do not use your power for selfish means.
Yours Fetishly,
Parazy
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